Yay! It’s Dickerdoodle time!
Penny Arcade is running its/their Dickerdoodle competition again! I missed out on it last year, due to laziness and incomprehension but this year I want to win.
If any of you love me, you’ll help. We only have until December 8th, so if you even vaguely care about me and my bizarre inclinations you’ll rock up to my place on Saturday with ingredients and bake until your balls (or lady bits) turn blue.
So, are you in?
I should have posted these shots some time ago but me being me I never got around to it.
Kate came around one Sunday, what feel’s like yonks ago, and we went out for a couple of beers. Kate being Kate of course she didn’t manage to get to Nottingham until gone 18:00. On a Sunday. So as you can imagine we didn’t party particularly hard.
I’m happy to report though, that when I got up in the morning I found that my bin hadn’t been disturbed during the night. I think you all know what I’m referring to.
For those that don’t know what I’m referring to, let me clarify.
My subtle allusion is to an incident from a number of years ago, whereby Kate fished some pizza out of a bin and had it for breakfast. Bad enough you may think but no, there’s more. The pizza had been discarded along with a number of used tea bags.
I think that takes recycling a step too far, no?
In the interests of balance I would like to point out that Kate denies ever having fished the pizza out of the bin. She claims it was merely resting in its box (on its own, no tea bags), atop the bin.
That’s what she would say though isn’t it?
The new Star Trek is shaping up nicely. Can’t say that I like all of the casting choices but Spock and Bones are perfect.
It sounds like they’ve sorted out a decent plot too. Guess we’ll have to wait until May to see for sure though won’t we?
Spock’s a nice touch but is it me or does he look uncannily like Brucie in this trailer?
Except it didn’t.
My plan to renew my Wordpress installation and change my blog theme have gone proper wrong.
Primarily the version of Wordpress I’m using is out of date by several revisions, so an upgrade of that would have been good but (there’s always a but) the theme I’d chosen which is a K2 style, is broken under anything more modern than Wordpress 2.7.
So, to cut a long story short I’ve just fucked it off for now. The blog is working, sorta, and I’ve changed the Lightbox effect on images but I’ve still got a major job on my hands to get it properly sorted. Lots of admin to do.
I also want to get my One Year gallery centred on the page, but it’s proving a real bitch to do. Damn it.
So far outstanding jobs are:
I can’t think of anything else at the minute but it looks like these issues will have to wait until I take a break in January.
I’ve decided to retire this site.
It’s looking old and well past its best and as Restless Cheese said the other night, it’s a bit word heavy.
So, in order to revitalise www.crackerwax.com I’ve been fiddling with a test site.
Bear in mind it’s not finished and is only up there to give you a feel for the style I’m going for next.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments.
I snapped this while I was out getting some coffee the other day.
Hen do’s seem to be viewed as a great excuse for overweight heifers to trot around cities they’d never normally dare visit, dressed like chubby prostitutes, shouting their fat northern mouths off and generally indulging in their usual small town, gobshite behaviour, just on a bigger canvas.
There are normally an abundance of cock shaped novelty items floating around too.
Oh and just before any smart arse (Tony I’m looking at you) decides to put a comment on this page about my apostrophe use in ‘do’s’, I’ve checked before.
It’s acceptable as typographical embellishment to add clarity.
So there.
My Dad bought a Philips Video 2000 system in the early eighties. It came with a groovy little video that showed you how to use it, y’know program it and such.
The one abiding memory I have of this video is a little fella in a hat, that spoke gibberish and had the most amazing bendy fingertips. In fact I sometimes think I imagined the whole thing.
No more though! Now, thanks to the miracle of YouTube, I’ve found the actual video! Rejoice in its bizarre splendour.
Freaky, huh? Made all the more freaky by the weird alien thing that it makes you imagine actually starts your recordings when you’re out and the music towards the end (a cross between Jean Michel-Jarre and a bad trip in a fairground). Amazing stuff.
The latest Gallup poll has the Democrats sitting on 52% of the vote and the Republicans on 41%. This is good news.
Americans have spent the last eight years living in what amounts to a dictatorship. With fudged elections and battles with fictitious, unseen terrorist enemies Bush has lost credibility.
On top of this his attacks on foreign countries, each of them carried out with a cry of freedom, being little more than attempts to seize control of their resources, it’s about time the USA stood down from its role as global oppressor.
Should Barack Obama win tomorrow’s election, and I for one hope he does, he will have a monumental task ahead of him to convince the world that the USA can change.
Too long have Americans been seen as illiterate, boastful and brash. As bullies that proclaim their superiority to the rest of the world by dint of the fact that they claim to have God on their side and have the guns to back it up.
The USA is simultaneously enriched and bankrupted by the notion that you can be what you want to be and that everybody has the chance to control their destiny.
Sadly this is not true.
One look at the top ten in the Fortune 500 from 2008 shows you that only a select few are in charge of the world and chances are you’re never joining their club.
Oil, automobiles, a bit of money and a retail giant. The men at the helm of these companies, and they are all men, are in control. It is these people that Obama will have to deal with.
Now I don’t know enough about Senator Obama to know which side of the fence President Obama will be on. My guess is that he’s not too deeply ingrained into the world that President Bush is, I can only hope that he will be enough of an outsider to effect the change required.
My fingers are crossed.
It looks like BT are flogging a whole series of tunnels underneath High Holborn in London. The asking price is unconfirmed but I bet it’s more than I could raise.
I love shit like this, it’s too cool for words. Can you imagine how amazing it would be if it was turned into a hotel or a night club?
It’s awesome to think that places like this even exist. It was built during the war, which is clear to see and has ended up, through privatisation, belonging to British Telecom. Now they’re selling it off.
As is mentioned in the Telegraph’s article it’s unlikely it will be turned into a hotel because of risks about fire evacuation and such but some enterprising individual could work out a way around that, surely?
I’m sitting here in front of my Mac and I can’t think of a single thing to write, well apart from this thing about how I can’t think of anything to write.
Sometimes it feels like there’s too much to do and I’m paralysed by the choice available to me.
So I’m sitting here listening to Eels and lazily browsing the web.
So often do I end up sitting in stasis, unable to move, not going one way or the other for fear of missing something. Unable to even commit to watching a film, two hours is too much, I might miss something else.
Consequently I miss everything.
This is a mess isn’t it?
I feel compelled to complain to the BBC about the cruel mockery, in Fawlty Towers, of Spanish speaking migrant workers.
It is high time that the BBC prevented this sort of thing from happening in the past.
Clearly I would have complained at the time of broadcast back in 1975 but I was not aware of the outrage I would have felt, had I been watching it then, up until recently, when I saw a rerun on UK Gold.
From what I understand it was originally screened on BBC Two in the early evening. This is entirely unacceptable in my opinion.
I demand that the creator of this racist filth and anyone involved in its portrayal be executed and that the BBC pay Spain a fine of at least €1,000,000.
This is probably the only thing that would enable me to sleep at night knowing that racist, so called, ‘comedy’ like this had at some point been created.
What’s more Aubrey Singer, who I believe was controller of BBC Two at the time, should be exhumed and his corpse made to give a public apology.
Death cannot be tolerated as an excuse for allowing this sort of filth onto our television screens 33 years ago.
It is high time the BBC and its disgusting former performers and controllers realised that the very fabric of space and time itself is liable to rip apart should this sort of thing be allowed to happen at unspecified dates in the past.
Another week and another ridiculous overblown hoo-hah in the press about some poor sod or other.
This week it’s the turn of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross to be on the receiving end of the tabloid press’ moral indignation. How journalists can consider themselves moral is beyond me, still that’s a rant for another day.
As you are no doubt aware by now, given that it’s the top story on every news channel at the moment (wonder if Al Jazeera have covered it?), Russell Brand had Jonathan Ross on his Radio 2 show and they left Andrew Sachs a series of rather misjudged and ill advised answer phone messages.
The gist of it is that Andrew Sachs was due to give an interview on Brand’s show but for one reason or another when he was called they got his answer phone, Brand being Brand and Ross being Ross this lead to an ideal opportunity for a spot of tomfoolery. Let’s be honest though it’s kind of what you expect from a stand up comic who hosts a radio show, we’re not talking about Jimmy Young here are we?
Unfortunately the message got out of hand very quickly and three things happened.
I happened to hear it live and whilst I didn’t think it was the funniest thing I’d ever heard, I didn’t think it was anything that anyone should have lost their job over.
Of course the media being the media were falling over themselves to expose Brand for the filthmongering, sex obsessed, junkie scum bag he so clearly is. I half expect to wake up and read calls for Ross to have his tongue cut out and for Brand to be castrated!
So far the result of all this has been:
That the show only garnered two complaints at the time of its broadcast, yet has since received over 37,000, stands as testament to the media circus that has developed. Of course most of that can be attributed to the Mail On Sunday’s front page article about it. I think the very fact that only 0.00003% of complaints were received from actual listeners speaks volumes.
Meanwhile Georgina Baillie, the outraged granddaughter in question (you’ll probably know her best as Voluptua from the Satanic Sluts), is rubbing her hands in anticipation of the deals she’ll receive as a result of the publicity.
Judging by the number of videos of her on the news sites already (every one of them with her droning on about how outraged she is, whilst at the same time maintaining her doe eyed, smoky makeup, big-titted temptress look), she’s milking it for every last drop.
All the publicity seems like quite a good return on her initial investment of letting Brand fuck her because he was famous. Of course her new line is that,
I will be speaking to him [Sachs] to ask whether we should complain to the police and we’ll be making the decision as a family.
Oh come on! Let’s put this in perspective, no one died nothing in that call was malicious, stupid yes, malicious no. Is this the best use of police time? Do you think the CPS should even entertain this?
What’s more all of Baillie’s comments around the event are so hollow it’s unbelievable. That they’re being given any form of credence at all astonishes me! The best I’ve come across so far is this belter on the news that Brand and Ross had been suspended.
I’m really happy with the investigation. Me and my grandad are both really happy because it could have damaged our reputation permanently.
Sorry love? Your reputation? What reputation would this be? Your reputation as a woman who flashes her flange for money? Is that the reputation you concerned about damaging?
Please.
I do have a great deal of sympathy for Andrew Sachs, it wasn’t a nice message, I wouldn’t have liked to receive it. At the end of it all though everyone has admitted it was stupid and apologised for it, on top of which Sachs has accepted the apologies. There is no reason for this to be getting the attention it is.
The call that’s causing the outrage is transcribed after the jump if you fancy reading it.
Continue reading ‘Brand And Ross: Enemies Of The People’
Don’t think I’m going to bother with a Christmas tree this year, in fact don’t think I’ll bother with Christmas.
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